In Defense of a Boring Christian Life

I search Christianbook.com using the words “destiny” and “dream”.  105 hits.  And “destiny” by itself?  The titles that appeared left me speechless.  I did a search out of curiosity because I’d heard these words so often recently in “Christian” settings, but couldn’t recall a passage of the bible addressing these sort of topics.  Let me name a few of the titles at the top of the list when I searched: Dream to Destiny: The Ten Tests You Must Go Through to Fulfill God’s Purpose for Your Life; The Dream-Giver: Following Your God-Given Destiny; Supernatural Skyline: Where Heaven Touches Earth, Soul-Print: Discovering Your Divine Destiny; Free to Soar: How You Can Love the Church, Serve with Your Husband, and Fulfill Your Destiny as a Woman in Ministry.

This last title leaves me with a song in my head, a song made popular in the 70’s to be the war-cry of the “liberated” woman:  “I can bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan, and never, ever let your forget you’re a man, ‘cause I’m a woman, W-O-M-A-N.”  Sounds like an exhausted woman to me.  Shouldn’t the church be different from the world?  I thought that Christians, at least, would recognize the more-than-full-time job of being a “wife and mother”.  It is not only enough to fill a day, it is enough to fulfill my obligation as a Christian to never tire of good works, to fulfill my office as given by God and to allow me not to be ashamed of my vocation.  But so many around me, both friends and the authors and teachers to whom they listened, seemed to think I was thinking big enough for myself.  Everywhere I turned (outside of God’s Word) so much more was asked of me than what I had ever imagined, or even wanted, for mylife.

So is every Christian automatically destined for greatness?  Does God have a special plan for every person, whether Christian or not?  Many preachers seem to imply that God loves and has plans for every person out there and we must be taught how to get in sync with God.  If God has a plan, can I really stop him?  And if God has a plan for a particular person, is it necessarily to his or her benefit?  His plan for Pharaoh was for him to end up at the bottom of the Red Sea!  As Paul wrote to the believers in Rome, God hardens and softens whom he wills, for the ultimate end of His own glory.

 If I work as a janitor or a cook or in a cubicle for a tech company, should I assume there is something further God wants from me, vocationally speaking? Am I less of a Christian if I don’t want more from life?  Whatever happened to “godliness with contentment is great gain”?  Is the Christian life supposed to be an adventure?  If my life is tedious, does that mean I need to get on the ball, and figure out what my great adventure ought to be and get out there and get started?  (I’ve honestly got all my 42-year-old self can handle with four kids and a husband.  I’m quite sure adventure might just do me in…or leave my family in the lurch.)  And is a life of risk equivalent to “walking by faith?” 

There was a time when I would have said “yes” in answer to all these questions.  But I finally started questioning all these ideas that were being driven into my head from every side.

For one thing, people with adventurous, risk-taking, finding-your-dream kind of lives are not necessarily even Christian.  And even if they are, does their adventurous lifestyle make them more holy than me?  More pleasing to God?  “Without faith, it is impossible to please God.”  But is faith equivalent to being willing to jump off cliffs?  Is that biblical faith?  And is God less pleased with the one whose life is boring and tedious?  Hebrews 11 says that faith is “the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.”  “Assurance” and “conviction” sound so solid and dignified and not risky at all actually.

Isn’t it Okay if the Christian Life is Boring?

Boring has become a thing I long for.  I honestly love ruts, though I call it routine, and so do my children.  I love a peaceful, slow-paced life.  I don’t long for a more exciting life or adventure.  I would think that the church would be a safe place for a woman without great ambition.  But even there, I get the message that I’m being satisfied with too little.  People tell me I should write bible studies, get published.  I suppose they’re trying to be encouraging, but it fosters discontent.  I was told by one woman that she had a vision from God that I would sing in other nations, that God has some great destiny for my singing. She said that right now I was like a little “bird on a fence” singing simply because that’s who I am.  I actually liked the sound of that.  But her vision went on to describe “greater things.”  I wished it hadn’t.  I know she thought she was encouraging me, but I preferred to remain the “bird on a fence”.  Every time I start believing I ought to have greater things, I get frustrated when it doesn’t seem to be happening and get jealous of those who get more time on stage.

Talents and Seeds

Some might say that I am like the servant who buried his “talent”.  But did Jesus intend the parable to teach what we should be doing with our abilities, our strengths?  The Greek language in which this parable was recorded had only one meaning for the word translated “talent”, one regarding monetary value.  If it were about natural strengths and what we call “giftings”, why then would Paul boast in his weaknesses?  Why would he cast aside all that he used to count as gain and regard it as loss for the sake of Christ?  If Paul were put in the average American church, talk such as his would have provoked rebuke by church members who would argue that he could have used all that education and status “for the Lord”.  But for the Lord, for the sake of the gospel, he set aside his advanced education and impeccable resume and worked as a tentmaker to support himself in a way that would leave him more time for preaching and teaching free of charge.  But the gospel was the talent entrusted to Paul, not his natural abilities. 

Note all these passages that instruct us as to what God has entrusted to us, about what he gives us to plant, to invest, to cause to grow:

• Jesus himself said he entrusted to his Apostles was his Word (“I have given them your word” John 17:14) We in turn would be entrusted with the Apostles’ words. (Also John 17)
• In the Parable of the Sower, Jesus says the seed is the Word of God, and then Paul, according to 1 Corinthians 3:6, is also doing the work of the sower “I planted, Apollos watered…”
• We are entrusted, more specifically, with the Gospel, the good news of salvation from God through Jesus from our sins by his death and resurrection.  The Gospel is what Paul said he received from Christ. (Gal 1:12)
• The Word of God, according to the Parable of the Sower, the seed that is spread by the Son of Man.  Seeds and money are often parallel symbols because they grow and multiply, along with yeast, though yeast usually has a more negative connotation. 
• The “testimony about our Lord” is the “good deposit” entrusted to Paul 1 Timothywho entrusted it to Timothy.  2 Timothy 1:10-14, 2 Timothy 2:2

What is God’s Great Plan for my Life?

Usually, those that discuss “dreams, destiny and passions” usually speak in terms of this life, what we will make of ourselves, the impact we make, the mark we leave behind.  Jesus made a point to contrast our life on earth with life in heaven:

“Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal.  For where you treasure is, there your heart will be also.” Matthew 6:19-22

“Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.” Matthew 10:39

“Whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it.  For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul?  Or what shall a man give in return for his soul?”  Matthew 16:25, 26

“Whoever seeks to preserve his life will lose it but whoever loses his life will keep it.”  Luke 17:33

“If the world hates you, know that it has hated me before it hated you.  If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you.” John 15:18,19

“In the world you will have tribulation.  But take heart; I have overcome the world.” John 16:33

The Apostle John wrote:

“Do not love the world or the things in the world.  If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him.  For all that is in the world—the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride in possessions—is not from the Father but is from the world.  And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever.” 1 John 2 15-17

And Paul wrote:

“Set your mind on things that are above, not on things that are on earth.  For you have died and your life is hidden with Christ in God.  When Christ who is your life appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.”  Colossians 3:2-4

“For many, of whom I have often told you and now tell you even with tears, walk as enemies of the cross of Christ.  Their end is destruction, their god is their belly, and they glory in their shame, with minds set on earthly things.  But our citizenship is in heaven and from it we await a Savior, the Lord Jesus Christ, who will transform our lowly body to be like his glorious body.” Philippians 3:18-21

So what is our earthly life supposed to look like?  Are the adventures of Joseph or David or Paul or Peter supposed to be normative?  Would we want them to be?  I will look in God’s Word and see what Jesus and Apostles said our life ought to look like:

“If anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.” 1 Timothy 5:8

“Let [widows] first learn to show godliness to their own household and to make some return to their parents, for this is pleasing in the sight of God.”

“[Pray] for kings and all who are in high positions, that we may live a peaceful and quiet life, godly and dignified in every way.”

“But we urge you brothers…to aspire to live quietly, and to mind your own affairs, and to work with your hands, as we instructed you, so that you may walk properly before outsiders and be dependent on no one.”  1 Thessalonians 4:11

“[T]here is great gain in godliness with contentment, for we brought nothing into the world, and we cannot take anything out of the world.  But if we have food and clothing, with these we will be content.  But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation, into a snare, into many senseless and harmful desires that plunge people into ruin and destruction.  For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evils.  It is through this craving that some have wandered away from the faith and pierced themselves with many pangs.” 1 Timothy 6:6-10

This is really the tip of the iceberg.  The New Testament text is chock full of exhortations to live quiet, dignified lives and that our first and foremost area of responsibility is our family.  Take it from a home schooling mother of four.  This leaves little room for “adventure”. 

I want to put out a challenge:  Next time you feel the urge to defend the Christian life against the accusation of being “boring” … just let it lie.  The word “boring” implies, first of all, an expectation to be entertained, to be stimulated.  I can guarantee that there is not one biblical promise of “entertainment” for the believer.  Rather we are promised tribulation and persecution in this world.  We are promised that the world will hate us.  We are to be living sacrifices, to be like Paul, a drink offering, poured out on the sacrifice and service of others.  We are to be expended, spent, to count it all loss for the sake of Christ.  The cry of the “heart”  that says “I’m bored!” is really the voice of the flesh, and we are to make no provision for the flesh, because the desires of the flesh are at war with the desires of the Spirit.

A  Biblical Look at the Word “Passion”

Several years ago, I took “spiritual gifts testing” to inventory my “gifts and passions” so I could know where I will best be “plugged in” into my congregation.  Just last month, I overheard a conversation between two women discussing the same thing being done at her church right now.  To ignore a passion or dream you have for your life is spoken of as a sin to be avoided, that God put your desires there for a reason.  Can anyone give a biblical passage supporting this idea?  Authors and screenwriters weave this myth which details the danger of ignoring your “heart’s desire” and those things about which you are “passionate” as a frequent thread of modern story-telling.  This myth is filtering into sermons and “inspirational” books and taught as biblical truth.

So is this really a danger?  What does the bible actually say about my “passions”?  Most references to “passion” or “desire” seems to be in a negative context.

“Put to death…passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.”  Colossians 3:5

“So flee youthful passions and pursue righteousness…”  2 Timothy 2:20

“Among them are those…led astray by various passions…” 2 Timothy 3:6

“But each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire.  Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin, and sin when it is fully grown brings forth death.”  James 1:14,15

“And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.” Galatians 5:24

“Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, to make you obey its passions.” Romans 6:12

“Among whom we all once lived in the passions of our flesh, carrying out the desires of body and mind, and were by nature children of wrath, like the rest of mankind.” Ephesians 2:3

“Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.”  Colossians 3:5

To glorify our inner desires, our natural urges, our instincts—this is not found in the Bible but is found in the philosophy of Nietzsche.  Nietzsche was inspired by evolutionary teachings and helped found the “human potential” movement, which is still going strong today in every form of self-help.  Nietzsche taught that people should let instinct and what comes naturally rule.  But has anyone noticed that biblical virtue never comes naturally?  The virtues of forgiveness, mercy, hospitality, putting the needs of others above my own, refusing to advance my own agenda—these require me to deny my instincts and urges in order to put them into practice.  I obey in faith, trusting my Lord, for whom they did come naturally.  Obeying Nietzsche’s philosophy will lead me down Hitler’s path.  Can we all agree that would be a bad thing?

A Biblical look at Plans and Dreams

Does the Bible lay out for Christians a live of “great adventure”?  Does God really have “big plans” for each of us that we somehow need to discover and reach for or receive)?

Paul said, 1 Corinthians 7, “Only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him...Each one should remain in the condition in which he was called.  Were you a slave when called?  Do not be concerned about it.” You can almost hear him say, “Were you chained to a cubicle when you were called?”

The story of Joseph has a habit of popping up in sermons about “pursuing your dreams”.  I guess this is because these pastors were at a loss for a passage to go to for “finding your dream” and thought they could somehow make Joseph’s story fit, since the word “dream” comes up so much in his story.  Of course they don’t let a little thing such as the contextual meaning of the word “dream” being completely different than what they need for the purpose of their sermon get in the way.  They kind of hope their listeners will overlook that point.

But I’m not sold on the idea that god is interested in my “dreams”.  And the supernatural visions God gave to Joseph to help preserve the family of Abraham, the line of the Messiah, to perceive these events as something that ought to be normative is simply misguided.  I’m pretty sure God is not interested in my agenda for my life.  My agenda, more likely than not, is corrupted by my sinful nature and my lack of heavenly perspective. 

And many of these same teachers will tell their hearers that those who speak negatively in any way regarding your “dream” are “dream-killers” and somehow an agent of Satan.  This serves, of course, to inoculate their listeners against anyone who may want to talk to them in a sensible manner.  I know a woman who was convinced that her desire for a child was so strong (obsessive, as it can sometimes be.  It’s natural to want to have children, but it can become an idol.) that she convinced herself that God had made her with this strong desire and it couldn’t be God’s will for her to be married to the man she was married to because he appeared to be sterile.  She left him. 

When you have a desire that is so strong that it doesn’t go away and seems to block out all other thought, that used to be called idolatry, and now so-called Christian teachers are calling them God’s “dream for your life”, or “your destiny” or your “God-given passion”.  The word “destiny” does not appear in the Bible that I am aware.   However, the word “predestined” does appear and this is in reference to God’s sovereign will and his work as the author and the finisher of our faith.  Knowing we are predestined does not require action on our part except for the praise and gratitude we extend to God for opening our ears to the Truth and drawing us unto him.  If God truly has a plan for us, a purpose, a destiny, do we need to discover it?  Will he not reveal it?  Who is to stop him from accomplishing it?  We certainly are not in danger of getting in God’s way.  Mountains melt like wax before the Lord and I am but dust.

So I am now wary of any teaching filled with terminology not found in God’s word.  There is enough in the Bible to fill about a million or more sermons to edify my soul.  I pray that all who listen to things being said in the name of God would compare them to the word of God and make sure they agree.